First of all, sorry for
the French.
Being a rather mild
mannered guy, there are few things that can get angry, and honestly, most of
the time it’s at myself. A good thing I think. Getting angry seldom gets me
what I want. Trust me.. 33 years in the service area of a company, talking to customers
all day long, will cement the feelings that you can certainly catch more flies
with honey than vinegar (I’m also not a fan of that idiom but it’s better than “Mad
as a wet hen”, “Don’t piss on my leg and tell me it’s raining”, “Better than a
sharp stick in the eye”, and certainly “Don’t spit in another man’s face unless
his mustache is on fire”)!
But in this case, I think
(and hope) that a little anger is exactly what is called for!
So here’s the deal…. And
let me start in the present and move backwards.
My runs the past several
weeks, maybe months, have all been pretty crappy. Not just slow as hell. I can
deal with slow. Actually, I’m pretty much over the whole running for speed
stuff anyway. But I WILL not accept running not being fun anymore! I will NOT
wake up in the morning and dread heading out for an hour of something I can’t
live without. No way I will sit here and
tell myself running 2-3 times a week is fine. Taking a week off in the winter
will HELP me. Feeling this way is expected at my age. All of it… BULL CRAP!
It’s not just the running
stuff either. My whole energy level sucks. I’m not in the mood to roll around
on the floor with the kids like I always do. I sit for 30 minutes, stand up and
feel like I’m 80.
This is just NOT me.
But the good news here is
it’s no mystery what’s going on here! I know exactly why I’m going through
this! Curious aren't ya? ;-) OK, let me share, because this could just be
YOU we are talking about!
I've become a FAT
BASTARD!!!
Dang Gwin, lighten up on
the foul language man! But I warned you… I’m pissed!!
Let’s recap, very quickly
and briefly, the last 18 months of my life..
September, 2011: There I
was, running 160 miles a month and averaging 6.2 miles every time I headed out.
I was mostly using a 4/1 ratio and consistently holding a 10:30 per mile pace.
My log shows me using terms like “Felt GREAT today”, and “Felt very good again”.
I weight 176 lbs. at that time.
At 176 lbs., I was wearing clothes I hadn’t worn for years!
I was looking forward to my next run the second I finished my last run. I was
playing with the kids from the time I got home from work till they dropped off
to sleep. All good stuff and I KNOW you know that feeling.
One month later, on
October 10, 2011, I was summoned into my boss’s office where I found him
sitting with an HR rep. Never a good sign. A short few minutes later I found
myself staring into the ugly face of retirement/unemployment.
So, let’s continue our
stroll down memory lane and jump to January, 2012, just 3 months later.
My old nemesis, Mr. Scale
said 183 lbs. I had gained 7 lbs. but somehow managed to keep the running at
155 miles that month with an unchanged average of 6 miles. The notes in my log
show I was still feeling strong, keeping mostly a 4/1 ratio. So, the added
poundage so far doesn't seem to be an issue.
Back into the time machine
for a quick stop 5 months later in June, 2012.
Total mileage was starting
to fall off. I ran 146 miles that month. Still way acceptable. Again, the
averages were hanging in at 6.1 miles per run too but I had switched to a 3/`1
ratio and my average per mile pace had slipped to 11:30. Granted, the weather
turned very hot and the slowdown should be expected, but my notes show I was defiantly
losing some Mojo. Add to all of this another 6 lbs., weighing 189 now. For
those of you with a public education, that’s a total of 13 lbs. I was taking
along on my runs with me.
Fast forward another 5
months and we find ourselves in November, 2012. Mr. Extra Miler found yet
ANOTHER 6 lbs. (195 lbs. now) and managed only 94 miles that month. My average
run was now 4.5 miles and my pace was close to 12 mins/mile. I see a lot of notes
like “added more walk breaks” and “Should have taken the day off”. WTH!
One last trip forward and
I bring you gently back to today.
When my alarm went off
this morning at 5:00 am, I cannot tell you how badly I wanted to bag it! I laid
there for a while, wrestling with myself. The deciding factor was that I had
taken yesterday off and I just didn't want to take 2 days off in a row, not the
best reason but it worked.
But what tiny bit of
motivation I had when I dragged myself out of bed was gone by the time I was
outside staring at my Garmin.
This morning’s run was
miserable. Every mile that went by all I could think of was when the run would
be over! My 5.2 mile run using my 3/1 ratio became a 4 mile run walking
whenever I felt like it. And I felt like it a LOT! In case you care, I came
back with a 13:25 min/mile pace!
While we are closing all
the loops here, I weighed 195. Add it all up.. I’ll wait.. YEP, I have put on a
total of 19 lbs. in a short 18 months. NOW
see why I am cussing?
So that’s where I am
today. Wishing my runs were over early and wanting to smack myself in the head
for allowing this to happen to me.
So when I calm down a bit
and talk myself in off the ledge, I’ll post again and tell you why I’m kind of
happy that I’m so pissed off. It might just help you too, assuming you are a fat bastard too ;-)
